Marvel's Joe Quesada's Idlechatter Christmas Collection!

Marvel Comics released a series of Christmas songs on the internet for its fans during the years 2002 to 2007. These songs were written and sang by Marvel's Joe Quesada, at the time in his position as Editor-In-Chief, and recorded with his band, Idlechatter. The band's name is alternately spelled "Idle Chatter" depending on the source, but an official release from Marvel used the one-word version, so that's what I will go with here in this blog entry.

MARVEL COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS (2002)

The first song released in 2002 mentions several of the mostly current Marvel artists, writers, and staffers, and featured Joe Quesada on vocals, guitar, and keyboards; Tommy Dean on guitar, saxaphone and supporting vocals; Mike Ferrara on bass; Bobby Ventura on drums/percussion, and supporting vocals; and NOT Bill Jemas on sleigh bells, but an incredible simulation. Jerry Farley served as engineer, and it was recorded at Fastlane Studios, in Brooklyn, New York.

Lyrics:

MARVEL COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS

Words and music Joe Quesada, 2002

It wasn't long ago at the ol' North pole

The Elves got together so the story is told

They called a Union Rep on Christmas night

So, Santa went cryin' down to Mama Claus

Sorry Mr. Santa but we're going on strike

That's when Santa grinned just as sly as a fox

She said, "stop the crap, Nick, just show them whose boss."

Kevin Smith and JMS on Spider-Man

He went into his attic and got his comic box, yeah!

Santa Claus gives Marvel Comics for Christmas.

No wonder DC Comics does nothing but bitch

Bagley, Bendis, Austen and some Morri-san

Loeb and Sale, Jimenez, Johns and Bryan Hitch

Milligan, Allred, Ennis, Dillon and Jones

Santa Claus gives Marvel Comics for Christmas.

The Kuberts and Quitely, Ramos and Vaughan

Maleeve and Robertson and Mark Millar

Little Paul was wishing for a rubber band ball

And lets not forget the great J.R. JR.

Santa checked his list just as fast as he can

But just like Marky Sunshine he got nothin' but coal

Bobby W. was waiting and he got all depressed

AND MARVEL DON"T GO BACK TO PRESS!

'Cause Santa's out of comics

So many people that we value there's no question I forgot a few:

He almost forgot Rucka, Waid and Ron Zimmerman While Billy and Joey wondered what had gone wrong

But Santa don't give comics when you're bad all year long!

Santa Claus gives Marvel Comics for Christmas.

Middleton, Simone and Way, Jae Lee,

Finch and Cassaday,

Jurgens, Jenkins, Isanove, Palmer,

Mounts lets sound them off!

Bachalo, Kordey and Chen, Janson,

Udon, Severin, Wells and Ross, Ringo too.

Davis, Farmer and Andrews,

Comicraft, Larroca, Tieri, Kolins,

Ryan, Lai's and Fahbry, Mandrake,

Avalon and Manco, Claremont,

Young and Tom DeFalco,

Miki, Winick, Cross and Grant,

Fagredo, Corben, Ribic, Frank,

Asamiya and Tim Townsend,

Williamson, Lucas, Dodson,

Ranson, Hana, Soto, Loughridge,

Starlin, Milgrom, Bill Sienkiewicz,

Immomen and Deadato. Thibert,

Garney, Choi and Bongo,

Hairsine, Krueger, Oliffe, Priest,

Villarrubia, Bright and Kieth,

Baker, Cooke, Morales, Cho,

Pratt, Horn, Buccellatto, Braithwaite,

Bollers. Reis and Holtz, Bradstreet,

Frenz, and Michael Gaydos, Hollingsworth,

Pope and Copiel, Winslade, Gaiman,

Haspiel, Studio F. Fernandez, Jeanty,

Dorkin, Kesel, Bennet, Chukry.

There's no rhyme Eliopoulous

except that Marvel Fans are the best!

WEDNESDAY'S CHRISTMAS AT MY COMIC SHOPPE (2003)

"Wednesday's Christmas At My Comic Shoppe" is debatably the most accessible of these songs to the general public. This is because all of these songs feature a degree of "in-joke" references -- Some more topical than others -- that would be lost on those not familiar with things such as specific comic book titles, comics creators, and the like.

For instance, the lyrics to this particular tune mentions such books as "X-Statix", and "1602", which are no longer published by Marvel, and uses abbreviations for characters that are more familiar to fans, such as "FF" for "Fantastic Four", or "DD" for "Daredevil". There's also a reference to Marvel competitor DC Comics as "Brand Echh". 

Comparatively speaking, though, it's lighter on such references than the others in the catalogue. Wednesday is the day that comic books are traditionally released at comic shops each week. The original recording features an audio cameo of sorts by Stan Lee at the end, but that part is edited from the video version embedded above. You can hear the complete version here.

Joe Quesada: All vocals and acoustic guitar; Tommy Dean - Guitars; Mike Ferrar - Bass; Bobby Ventura - Drums and percussions; Special thanks to Stan (The Man) Lee; Engineered and mixed by Mike Ferrara; Final mix by Jerry Farley; Recorded at Fast Lane Studios, Brooklyn, NY

Lyrics:

WEDNESDAY’S CHRISTMAS AT MY COMIC SHOPPE Words and music by Joe Quesada, 2003 Mistletoe and sugarplums Candy canes, I don't want none Just need my X-Men by my side. Mother says, "Look Santa's here!" But I know who's behind that beard Ain’t no way Stan "The Man" can hide. Yeah And then he looks at me Says, "Son, can you keep my secret please! See, Santa called, he was feeling down. So I took his sleigh and I'm making his rounds." Then out of his bag there came a gift I said, "Save it for someone who needs the lift." ‘Cause like it or not Wednesday’s Christmas at my Comic Shoppe. Graphic novels, trade paperbacks Toys and statues, the comics rack It’s enough to make this grown man sway (I love to shop there everyday.) Sorry, Stan, it might seem unfair But Christmas today just doesn’t compare When every week’s a holiday (Isn’t Stan Jewish anyway?) That’s why When Wednesday comes, I don’t walk I run! Got to get there before the frenzy’s begun For Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Statix too Ultimates, FF and 1602. And though I don’t mean to brag Compared to this, Christmas’s one big drag. Yeah, like it or not Wednesday’s Christmas at my Comic Shoppe. Suffering daily from holiday blues Leaving me wondering what’s there to do Until the day I read those famous words from you: "Excelsior, true believer!" Silver Surfer, Avengers, DD Supreme Power, Punisher, Thor and Wolvie Iron Man and that Parker Schlub Come on, sing along, Stan you made most of them up! Stan’s eyes lit up as he heard the word Said, "This Kringle stuff is for the birds! ‘Cause like it or not Wednesday’s Christmas at my Comic Shoppe. Nothing says "humbug" more Than that stack of Brand Echhs piling up in the store, And I’m feeling great and I’m feeling fine ‘Cause I’m always makin’ Marvel mine!

ALTERNATE COVER (2004)

For the third outing, Quesada puts on an Elvis Presley impersonation and sings about the collecting of variant or alternate covers. These covers first started being published by the comic book companies in the 1980s and dominated the market in the early 1990s. For a period, the practice of slapping alternate covers on comics subsided, but over the past decade have returned and, in some ways, seem more prevalent than ever before.

Lyrics:

ALTERNATE COVER Words and music Joe Quesada, 2004 performed and produced by Idlechatter It’s Christmas time baby And I sure do love you I hope you remember That there was only one thing I need for Christmas Here’s a holiday story, a cautionary tale About a night when love couldn’t prevail The Christmas tree was lit so bright Stacked high with gifts, it was quite a sight With each I opened I grew so low I held my breath there was one more to go That’s when I left my girl standing by the tree ‘Cause when I opened that last box I didn’t receive my Gold inlayed, leather bound, chromium, foil enhanced Holographic, U.V. plastic, pencil sketch, photographed One in ten, nine point nine, personally autographed, Alternate Cover A Rolex watch, a facial buff A nose hair trimmer, I couldn’t thank her enough But there’s only one sign of what true love could be It’s the one friggin’ gift that she didn’t get me, I want my Gold inlayed, leather bound, chromium, foil enhanced Holographic, U.V. plastic, pencil sketch, photographed One in ten, nine point nine, personally autographed, Alternate Cover And so it ends I sure do miss my girlfriend But I know that my local comic book retailer He sure loves me! Spot varnished, untarnished, barely been circulated Full embossed, latex glossed, personally dedicated Jewel encrusted, price guide trusted, completely orchestrated, Alternate Cover Gold inlayed, leather bound, chromium, foil enhanced Holographic, U.V. plastic, pencil sketch, photographed One in ten, nine point nine, personally autographed, Alternate Cover Surround sound, by the pound, highly collectable Guaranteed, sugar free, mildly delectable First edition, mint condition, girlfriend rejectable, Alternate Cover Glow’n the dark, snap on parts, highly regarded Sun roof, fire proof, media bombarded Kevlar mesh, human flesh, completely retarded, Alternate Cover Blood in ink, the kitchen sink, totally unreadable Cajun spiced, overpriced, cash unretrievable Decompressed, permanent press, the end’s unforeseeable for Alternate covers

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS (2005)

To better understand the lyrics to this song, you must know that it alludes to the outcome of the "House of M" storyline from 2005. The result of incidents that occurred  at its conclusion left many Marvel mutants without their powers. So, basically, this tune is sang from the perspective of one of those mutants wishing for their power to return for Christmas.

Joe Quesada and Idlechatter decided to do a riff on The Beatles "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" era Beatles and mashed it up with the Merry Marvel Marching Society theme from the 1960s Marvel fan club flex-discs.

Lyrics:

All I Want for Christmas by Idlechatter, Author: Joe Quesada, 2005 You belong You belong You belong Come along With the Merry Marvel marching Society You belong You belong You belong Sing Along With the Merry Marvel Marching Society We're the Merry Marvel Marching Society We're the Merry Marvel Marching Society Woke up feeling funny today I was startled by a white flash of light Then I stumbled to the mirror And that's when things got much clearer As I was struck by a horrible sight. Now I'm not a real trusting guy But I must admit it's given me pause Never believed in Easter bunnies Or Tooth Faeries and their money But I'm praying there's a real Santa Claus 'cause all I want for Christmas All I'll ever need All I want for Christmas Come on, give it on back, give it on back Give my mutant power back to me. Jubilation has lost all her spark (Fred has lost his center of gravity) Erik's not magnetic (Pietro's turned pathetic) And Jono has no chest cavity Now all I want for Christmas All I'll ever need All I want for Christmas Come on, give it on back, give it on back Give my mutant power back to me. (He's always checking who's done right or wrong) I'm a bit concerned about the review (Have you been a good boy all year long) I might have done an evil deed or two (So how'd you do on Christmas day) Well I have to say I'm feeling quite blue (Come on, tell us we're a quiver) Well, Santa didn't deliver Seems the reindeers are mutants too Now all I want for Christmas All I'll ever need All I want for Christmas Come on, give it on back, give it on back Give my mutant power back to me.

THIS SONG IS TWO WEEKS LATE (2006/2007)

Official Press Release Jan 09, 2007: 

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Marvel! Don't check your calendar. Don't think some wild, Dr. Doom-engineered time vortex has opened up and Christmas has returned. Nothing is out of the ordinary.

"It's just that Joe Quesada (along with his band Idlechatter) has released the annual Marvel Christmas song. And yes, as the song's title states, "This Song is Two Weeks Late." Like I was saying, nothing out of the ordinary here.

"It was a massive undertaking that saw late nights, frantic edits and some of the most ridiculous rapping in music history, but it's here! We should have a snazzy video to go along with the song here on Marvel.com, but for now enjoy the song."

As far as I know, there never was an official Marvel video for the song. The one embedded in this blog is one I made for it. 

This would be the last Christmas song by Idlechatter for Marvel, though Quesada said in an interview with CBR.com that he had actually written one more song for Christmas 2007:

(Joe Quesada, January 04, 2008) "...I actually had one written and I was prepared to record it. Unfortunately, I was so exhausted after OMD ("One More Day") and had spent so little time with my family during that time, that I just couldn't do it and live with myself. Those Christmas recordings take several days and incredibly long hours; I had to be smart about it."

Vocals/Guitar/Keyboards: Joe Quesada; Lead Guitar: Tommy Dean; Drums: Andy Guida; Bass: Mike Ferrara; Engineered and mastered by Mike Ferrara at Mach 1 Studios, Brooklyn, New York.

Marvel Rappers (and we use the term loosely) in order of appearance:

John Dokes, Tom Brevoort, Mark Paniccia, Nick Lowe, Jen Grunwald, Daniel Ketchum, Molly Lazer, Mike Short, Andy Schmidt, John Barber, Ralph Macchio (in spirit), Axel Alonso, Steve Wacker, and Aubrey Sitterson

Lyrics:

THIS SONG IS 2 WEEKS LATE Words and Music Joe Quesada, 2007 and The Merry Marvel Marching Society I've been trying to find the words to express my remorse 'cause I work here at Marvel, so it's par for the course This song is two weeks late for Christmas. It's been a busy year, so many books to produce Aw, who am I kidding, it's a lame excuse This song is two weeks late for Christmas. Maybe I should'a had my "stuff" together Maybe I should'a read all those angry letters? Maybe I should'a have listened to the internetters? 'cause let's face it, who on earth could possibly know any better I could've had it done but somehow let it linger I should've thought of using "fill in" singer This songs is two weeks late for Christmas Would ya believe my dog ate my notes? Would ya believe that I've got strep throat? Would you believe anything I wrote? 'cause you no I'm so shameless when I try to promote Yeah, let's take 'em back- Uh huh House of Ideas 2 Thousand Seven Yeah, This to Stan, Jack, Steve, and Flo SCREAM FOOM!!!

OH T-VOORT YOU LOOK WEIRD, WHAT THE HELL'S INSIDE THAT BEARD

Civil War's runnin' late, yeah, don't gimme no lip 'Cause you're backed up in line when that bad boy done ships I don't wanna be hearin' how your heroes been wrecked Show Mark Miller and Mista McNiven RESPECT!

GO ROSE!

Yeah, fanboyz, don't be up in my grill or illin', I'll throw lead in yo *** if you call Tony Stark a villain! Just wave yo hands in the air, I spit rhymes like Aubrey grows hair!

They call me Panic but I'm California mellow Can I interest you in some MASTERMIND EXCELLO I edit Hulk and Modok's big head And Agents of Atlas, the best book you NEVER READ

So I was sittin' 'round with Andy and Sean, TESTIFY! I called my Runaways boy Brian Vaughan, LOWE-FI! I know you're leavin' for LOST and I'll try not to sulk, So get ya' boy Lindelof to finish WOLVERINE/HULK

I WORK AT MARVEL, I WORK AT MARVEL, I WORK AT MARVEL FANBOY

My name is Daniel Ketchum and I edit BLACK PANTHER, Wanna know 'bout Wakanda, well baby I got your answers.

Molly is my name, but you can call me "Beam." Playing here on Marvel's edit team

Wireless Mike with respect for Special Projects

I'm Andy Schmidt, all those books you love, yeah I Ed-it

Hey I'm the Barber, Johnny, everybody say "YO!" Let's get this party kickin' with Ralph Macchio

Axe-Man is in the house.

You know I'm a genius. A poet. A menace. Got straighter teeth than Brubaker, and tons more hair than Bendis. Continuity? CLICK-BOOM! I slay it in an instant. You want an apology? Go speak to my assistant.

So tell me, True Believer. What really makes me wack? Was it making Rawhide Kid gay? Or Captain America black? OH SNAP

I got hit on the head, that's the last I remember

THIS BOY IS WACKER-ER! Woke up at Marvel, 'round the end of September

I'm a mad edit bomb. Blow up the drawing and WRITIN'. Then I chew up Thunder and I spit out THOR'S LIGHTININ! I'm the new Spidey-Man… so if you liked it BACK THEN. In month number one: GOODBYE M.J AND HELLO ***

Nobody can touch our books, their cast reads like a list Of the world's greatest heroes! It sounds like this: TELL 'EM! Cap the Falcon, Iron Man, Sentry, Luke Cage, DAMN YOU'RE GOOD! Fantastic Four and T-Bolts are jumping off the page.

DON'T GO THERE, AUBREY

Dr. Strange, She-Hulk and Ant-Man (new and old).

DON'T GO THERE, AUBREY

And our Distinguished Competition?

Who the *BLEEP* is Booster Gold?

HE WENT THERE! I work at Marvel

YEAH OUR BOOKS ARE SICK!

I work at Marvel

THE ADS MAKE THEM THICK!

I work at Marvel

SO WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY!

I work at Marvel Fanboy

HAPPY BELATED HOLIDAYS Maybe I should'a had my "stuff" together Maybe I should'a read all those angry letters? Maybe I should'a have listened to the internetters? If only I could find a way to make Hawkeye deader I guess I should've planned it way ahead But if I did you'd be listening to Bendis instead This song is two weeks late for Christmas This song is two weeks late for Christmas Sorry to make you wait This Christmas So, if you ever heard Millar sing a tune You'd understand why he doesn't give up writing soon And while Cassaday may be pop star dreamy I'd still have to sing it 'cause he'd lip-syncing Now JMS croons like a nightingale And Loeb has a voice best heard in e-mail When Salva sings you wouldn't understand a word Jenkins has the fakest accent you've ever heard But the one thing that makes everybody grin Is when Stan "The Man" played us like a violin

Since the days of Joe Quesada's tenure as Marvel's Editor-In-Chief, he has went on to become the executive vice president and creative director for Marvel Entertainment. These days he appears to have little time to devote to the seasonal Christmas songs, and in the intervening years, nobody else at the company has risen to take his place in that capacity. So, these five songs remain an interesting and entertaining artifact from a bygone era of Marvel Comics. 

Thankfully, I was able to save and share the songs, lyrics, and what information was made available about the recordings. Over the years, it's become harder to do that, as many of the sites where the songs were first uploaded and shared have taken down the associated pages, or some sites have become defunct.

So, enjoy and have a HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!!!

Critic's Choice Files Looks at the X-Men

"Critic's Choice Files Looks at the X-Men" volumes one & two, 1987. I have a personal connection to both of these publications in that I was the interior artist for each one. If you will indulge me, I will give some background about them and how the experience relates not only me, but possibly a legal matter between "Comics Feature" magazine and Marvel Comics Group.

These magazines, and other various "Files," "Spotight On...", and "Critic's Choice" publications from the 1980s were put out by Heroes Publishing, Inc., which was a company owned by Hal Shuster, whose other company, NMP/New Media published the fanzine "Comics Feature" from 1980-1987.

In 1986, I was a high school student who wanted to work in comics. I regularly picked up "Comics Feature" each month. As many of you know, before "Wizard" magazine and the internet, it was publications such as "Comics Feature" and "Comics Scene", and others, as well as fan-published periodicals that we fans depended on for our industry news.  When I read in CF that there had been a change in the art directors, I figured I'd send in my submission and see what happened. I didn't receive an actual rejection, but a letter which informed me that they were looking for a more cartoony style than I had sent in. So, since I didn't get a direct "no", I whipped up some more samples, sent them in, and got hired to do illustrations for the magazine, mostly for the "Fun & Profit" articles by writer Mike Benton.

After most of a year sending in my art for the magazine, and a couple of other publications by Shuster, I was given the assignment to draw the interior illustrations for the first "Critic's Choice Files Looks at the X-Men". The cover for that one was by art director Jim Keegan. At this point, while the X-Men were one of my very favorite titles I bought, I hadn't yet acquired or read the earliest "new" X-Men comics. This was back when the only reprints of those comics was just being published, "Classic X-Men", and when I got this assignment, it had yet to reprint many of the stories in "Critic's Choice Files". 

So, when I was asked to draw Nightcrawler being carried away by leprechauns, or Phoenix flying through a star gate, I didn't have any reference to draw upon! Therefore, I winged it. That first volume was also drawn close to its deadline, in the middle of the night, with me a bleary-eyed teen in high school trying to desperately finish it before shipping it in the mail the next morning. So, if you have the book, or see it in the future, please keep that in mind. LOL!

After that project, I was assigned again to the second volume. I was even more excited to do this than the previous one. Not only would I make sure I didn't procrastinate and have to rush it like the first volume, but this volume would be all John Byrne stories covered in it! Since these two books featured my artwork on every interior page, unlike "Comics Feature," where I only did a few pages each month, and this one was exclusively Byrne era X-Men stories that I was basing my art on, I couldn't wait to get my comp copies. However, I never did get my comp copies of volume two from the publisher. :-(

Now, I don't know for certain the whole deal, but as I recall it, Jim Keegan, the art director, told me that the second volume was not published due to legal action taken by Marvel. As I understand, it had to do with the use of original artwork (mine??) that Marvel had taken issue with. Hal Shuster was apparently told he had to use official Marvel art for the books. I never had any more confirmation on this matter, as Hal ceased publication of "Comics Feature" and his other publications at that point. Was there a correlation between those cancellations and Marvel's legal action? I can't say for certain.

Flash forward over a decade later... I am attending a convention in Indianapolis with my friend. I look at some books on a dealer's table and see the cover to  "Critic's Choice Files" volume two, but it didn't register immediately what the publication was that I was looking at. What had caught my attention was that John Byrne art on the cover, which I recognized as being a colored version of the piece in "The Art of John Byrne." When I realized what the title read on the cover, I thought, "Omigawd!! That's MY book!!" I asked the dealer if I could pop it open, and then I checked and verified that, YES, it was the supposedly unpublished second volume!

I don't know if Keegan was simply mistaken when he told me it was not published, or if that was what he was led to believe by Shuster, but there it was in my hands. After a quick transaction, I then owned a copy at long last.

Was THIS second volume really the publication that brought down "Comics Feature"? Was the use of my artwork in place of Marvel licensed art then thing that caused the problems? Obviously, the magazine was published and distributed nationally, but Shuster's publications did fold not long afterwards. 

I never spoke with Shuster, and never had any direct communication with him about anything. My only contacts with the editorial (or anyone at "Comics Feature") was with Keegan and co-art director Ruth Kennedy by mail and phone calls. I lived in Indiana, and they were out in California. I was able to keep touch with Keegan and Kennedy for but a short period after the magazines folded, and I was not brash enough at that age to press the matter on what happened exactly.

Anyway... For you Byrne completists out there,  that second volume has that cover with his art. I hope anyone who reads this will enjoy the background behind the books. :-)

BELOW: The interior art from "Critic's Choice Files Looks at the X-Men" volume one, including editorial instructions and preliminary sketches of unused art:

BELOW: The interior art from "Critic's Choice Files Looks at the X-Men" volume two, including editorial instructions and preliminary sketches of unused art:

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--And The Art of Matthew Hawes!!

CRANBERRY SAUCE: AN EXAMINATION OF THE PAUL IS DEAD HOAX (2010 - 2020, 10th Anniversary Remaster)!

FINALLY!!! AT LAST!!! 

In time for its 10th anniversary, I was able to upload a remastered version of my Beatles documentary, "Cranberry Sauce: An Examination of The Paul Is Dead Hoax." You see, I created this film length retrospective and study of one of the quirkiest and morbid chapters in Fab Four history way back in 2010, which gained tens of thousands of views, only to have it taken done over rights issues. Ugh. But with some selective editing, it has returned!

About its original removal from YouTube: Let me be clear, I asserted then, in 2010, and now that my usage of music and video footage in the creation of my documentary falls under fair usage. Yes, too many people uploading full movies and music videos and such make a similar claim, despite their work being clearly in violation. However, I believe my work definitely falls within guidelines (and even more so now, with my remastered version). 

Fair use allows a work to use select copyrighted materials for criticism, commentary, research, and educational purposes. All of which I feel my work meets in terms of requirements. Additionally, my work is transformative in most of the materials that is used in it. Still, to make certain my new version would not get taken down, I made several edits and replaced some audio, which seems to have worked in as much as being allowed on YouTube.

This is especially gratifying, as over the past decade, I had learned of a number of times where someone else took my video and uploaded it to their own channel. It seemed separate individuals were using the same version, which was a version that someone downloaded, split in two parts, and, for some reason, chose to alter my beginning credits to remove my name. Interestingly, the editor left my final credits intact, so I am unsure as to the purpose as those final credits also mention my name several times.

I am actually not against others sharing my video, even uploading it elsewhere on other sites. I created my work to be seen, after all. I just would like my video to be left unedited by others. I created the documentary with no intention of making a profit from it. It was never meant to be monetized, and was strictly a fan creation meant to be shared with other fans.

Okay, on the subject of the video itself: Do I personally believe the story of the hoax? Well, not in that I believe Paul McCartney truly passed away back in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike, with the Beatles leaving clues on albums of their mate's untimely demise. Even so, I purposefully left the conclusion ambiguous in my video. I am simply a fan who is fascinated with this chapter of Beatles lore. 

In fact, it was this fascination that actually led me to becomes a big Beatles fan. If the whole thing of "Paul Is Dead" was a put-on by the Beatles and the record company to sell more albums (which all have denied), it worked in my case. 

I was more of a casual fan, in my younger days, enjoying the selection of songs typically played in rotation on radio stations of my youth. But, in buying and listening to the full albums in my quest to hear these gruesome "clues", which also gave me opportunity to hear many songs that were not typically played on the radio, I was won over and the band became my favorite rock/pop band of all.

Even when I first heard about the hoax as a teen, I thought it was bogus. However, I have an affection for bizarre and oddball things, and the tale captured my imagination. In 2003, I first attempted a look into the PID hoax for a Halloween episode of my public access TV program, "The Happy Show!" 

I was not satisfied with that rougher look into the myth, and so in 2010 I revisited it in creating the documentary. By 2010, there began to be others who would post videos about the PID hoax on YouTube. Many of these took a decidedly more conspiracy slanted stance, trying to suggest Paul really did die in the 1960s, and the death is still being covered up. The people who really believe this can be pretty extreme. I chose to only focus on the origins of the hoax, and not get into the extended craziness that has evolved during the internet age on "real" conspiracies.

 

I would end up going in depth for this endeavor, researching the story more than ever before. I dug up decades old articles, interviews, sound bites, radio broadcasts, and anything I could that related to the hoax. I wrote up a script, and asked regular "Happy Show" contributor, Al Chantrey, to provide the narration. Al is gifted at coming up with character voices, but I asked him to use his normal voice for this, as being English as he is, I felt his accent would be a nice touch for a video about the Beatles.

I put a lot of time and effort into making the original version, and quite a bit still to make this 10th anniversary remastered version. I hope you will check it out, whether you are a Beatles fan, or not. It is an interesting look at a bizarre tale during the final days of the band.

Oh, and I slipped in a few little easter eggs of my own during the documentary in the spirit of fun. :-)

Enjoy, and feel free to share with others!

Just A Quintet of Wise Guys and their Doc Meet The Frankenstein Monster!

I love the X-Men! 

You might question that after this blog entry, and the previous one, too, but I truly do! 

Growing up as I did, in the era of Chris Claremont and John Byrne, "The Uncanny X-Men" was my favorite regular title from Marvel. At least, unless Byrne moved onto "The Fantastic Four," then both alternated for the top spot in my weekly comic book reading. I loved both the original team created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, as well as the "new" team created by Len Wein, Roy Thomas, and Dave Cockrum. I first "met" the original team in a reprints (which I believe I chronicled in my earlier blog entry. I started regularly reading the new guys with issue #122, just in time for the build up to the Dark Phoenix Saga.

When the X-Men title was good, it was GREAT! When it was bad, though, it was also the WORST! Mostly the worst stories of the run were during the Silver-Age of comics. It was the period of Roy Thomas's first run on the series, before joining with Neal Adams for some classic X-Men comics. But, boy... Thomas took some time to work uo the steam he let out during his time with Adams. 

In fairness, as I understand it, "X-Men" was Thomas's first professional comics assignment. He was learning the ropes, finding his voice. But truth is truth, and that first go round was a pretty horrid run. Not that Arnold Drake came up with masterpieces during his own brief tenure writing the adventures of Marvel's mutants, but Thomas's earlier stories were very wordy, and unnecessarily so.

It was stupid... and corny! I know it's harsh, and I do appreciate the great work Thomas put in with "Conan The Barbarian," "The Avengers," and "Squadron Supreme," and especially the aforementioned work with Neal Adams on X-Men, but there's no other way to put it with the early stuff.

Mechano, The Locust, The Warlock, all were the lame villains in cringe-worthy tales, but I think the very worst of the worst came in a stand alone story where Professor Xavier and his teenage students square off against what appeared to be the legendary Frankenstein monster! 

Xavier learns about  the discovery of the monster by a group of arctic explorers while he was, as he put it, "engaged in some, uh, mental experiments." Why he said "uh" about his experiments is something that never got addressed. Just what was that about? It was found frozen in a block of ice and brought back to America for study.

Anyway, the professor is certain this is the actual creature that Mary Shelley wrote about in the 19th century novel. He mentions to the team that he had suspected she was writing about a real monster, but that the monster was in reality an android and that its' creator was in all likelihood a mutant! Um... okay. Xavier is convinced that this monster is a vital threat and so he and the X-Men take off for the museum where it's being, so that they may prevent it from doing harm.

As feared, the monster awakens and during the X-Men's ensuing battle with it, we learn the monster is not only inhumanly strong, as described in the novel, but also can shoot eye beams, and has magnetic feet! Not long after the monster tosses a barrage of barrels at our heroes, it is stopped cold by Iceman's freezing power. Apparently, the cold is its' major weakness, and being frozen again causes it to explode this time.

Probing the android's artificial mind during its' final moment of existence, Xavier learns about its' true origin: It was created as an intergalactic ambassador by aliens from a tropical planet who wanted to use it to test the hospitality of humanity. Due to a malfunction, the creature went berserk and was pursued to the polar regions by its creators, where they left it frozen. It particularly was agitated by the X-Men's colorful costumes, as they reminded it of the flamboyant outfits worn by the aliens that created it.

Yeah... so... Brightly garbed aliens from a tropical planet created a monstrous android to make certain we Earthlings would treat it nicely as a condition for making contact with out planet's populace. And somehow Mary Shelley possibly caught wind of this situation and wrote her story loosely based in these "actual" events. Also, it was frozen in ice for years and years in the arctic, but for some reason it['s only when blasted by IceMan's powers that it becomes too cold and explodes.

Yep... stupid. I'm sorry, but what else would you call such a story?

I recently finished reading the entire Silver-Age run with the original X-Men, and so I think I am qualified enough to nominate this as the worst X-Men comic book tale ever! The story had some close competition, let me tell you, but it takes the cake, and the prize! However, like many a B-movie, I would say it is so bad, it's good! It's pure cornball, and silly beyond reason, but you almost can't believe what you're reading was written by a former teacher, an educated, adult man. I don't accept that comics are strictly for kids as a rule, but even that doesn't excuse how inane this story came out.

For a fun, little exercise, I decided to take a poke of rewriting the comic book, adding new text in the captions. I did so intending to make a spoof, but honestly one that probably has a better rationale behind the occurrences that took place in the original version. I write the team as a group of smart asses who have no respect for their leader, and whom in return grants them even less respect. For this reason, I decided to label them as the YZ-GUYS (pronounced "wise" guys, get it? um...).

The monster, in this parody, is written as a true misunderstood victim of circumstances. I won't claim it improves the tale, but I hope that it at least brings a new level of enjoyment from the comic.

So, here is my version, using the original artwork from "X-MEN" #40 (January, 1968):

NOTE: Click to enlarge pictures (on computer, right-click and select either "open in new tab" or "open in new window" to see at full resolution):

X-Men are Copyright 2020 Marvel. The usage of the characters and artwork here is strictly meant for the intent of parody, with ownership neither granted nor implied. The parody script is Copyright 2020 Matthew Hawes.