Marvel Comics released a series of Christmas songs on the internet for its fans during the years 2002 to 2007. These songs were written and sang by Marvel's Joe Quesada, at the time in his position as Editor-In-Chief, and recorded with his band, Idlechatter. The band's name is alternately spelled "Idle Chatter" depending on the source, but an official release from Marvel used the one-word version, so that's what I will go with here in this blog entry.
MARVEL COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS (2002)
The first song released in 2002 mentions several of the mostly current Marvel artists, writers, and staffers, and featured Joe Quesada on vocals, guitar, and keyboards; Tommy Dean on guitar, saxaphone and supporting vocals; Mike Ferrara on bass; Bobby Ventura on drums/percussion, and supporting vocals; and NOT Bill Jemas on sleigh bells, but an incredible simulation. Jerry Farley served as engineer, and it was recorded at Fastlane Studios, in Brooklyn, New York.
Lyrics:
MARVEL COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS
Words and music Joe Quesada, 2002
It wasn't long ago at the ol' North pole
The Elves got together so the story is told
They called a Union Rep on Christmas night
So, Santa went cryin' down to Mama Claus
Sorry Mr. Santa but we're going on strike
That's when Santa grinned just as sly as a fox
She said, "stop the crap, Nick, just show them whose boss."
Kevin Smith and JMS on Spider-Man
He went into his attic and got his comic box, yeah!
Santa Claus gives Marvel Comics for Christmas.
No wonder DC Comics does nothing but bitch
Bagley, Bendis, Austen and some Morri-san
Loeb and Sale, Jimenez, Johns and Bryan Hitch
Milligan, Allred, Ennis, Dillon and Jones
Santa Claus gives Marvel Comics for Christmas.
The Kuberts and Quitely, Ramos and Vaughan
Maleeve and Robertson and Mark Millar
Little Paul was wishing for a rubber band ball
And lets not forget the great J.R. JR.
Santa checked his list just as fast as he can
But just like Marky Sunshine he got nothin' but coal
Bobby W. was waiting and he got all depressed
AND MARVEL DON"T GO BACK TO PRESS!
'Cause Santa's out of comics
So many people that we value there's no question I forgot a few:
He almost forgot Rucka, Waid and Ron Zimmerman
While Billy and Joey wondered what had gone wrong
But Santa don't give comics when you're bad all year long!
Santa Claus gives Marvel Comics for Christmas.
Middleton, Simone and Way, Jae Lee,
Finch and Cassaday,
Jurgens, Jenkins, Isanove, Palmer,
Mounts lets sound them off!
Bachalo, Kordey and Chen, Janson,
Udon, Severin, Wells and Ross, Ringo too.
Davis, Farmer and Andrews,
Comicraft, Larroca, Tieri, Kolins,
Ryan, Lai's and Fahbry, Mandrake,
Avalon and Manco, Claremont,
Young and Tom DeFalco,
Miki, Winick, Cross and Grant,
Fagredo, Corben, Ribic, Frank,
Asamiya and Tim Townsend,
Williamson, Lucas, Dodson,
Ranson, Hana, Soto, Loughridge,
Starlin, Milgrom, Bill Sienkiewicz,
Immomen and Deadato. Thibert,
Garney, Choi and Bongo,
Hairsine, Krueger, Oliffe, Priest,
Villarrubia, Bright and Kieth,
Baker, Cooke, Morales, Cho,
Pratt, Horn, Buccellatto, Braithwaite,
Bollers. Reis and Holtz, Bradstreet,
Frenz, and Michael Gaydos, Hollingsworth,
Pope and Copiel, Winslade, Gaiman,
Haspiel, Studio F. Fernandez, Jeanty,
Dorkin, Kesel, Bennet, Chukry.
There's no rhyme Eliopoulous
except that Marvel Fans are the best!
WEDNESDAY'S CHRISTMAS AT MY COMIC SHOPPE (2003)
"Wednesday's Christmas At My Comic Shoppe" is debatably the most accessible of these songs to the general public. This is because all of these songs feature a degree of "in-joke" references -- Some more topical than others -- that would be lost on those not familiar with things such as specific comic book titles, comics creators, and the like.
For instance, the lyrics to this particular tune mentions such books as "X-Statix", and "1602", which are no longer published by Marvel, and uses abbreviations for characters that are more familiar to fans, such as "FF" for "Fantastic Four", or "DD" for "Daredevil". There's also a reference to Marvel competitor DC Comics as "Brand Echh".
Comparatively speaking, though, it's lighter on such references than the others in the catalogue. Wednesday is the day that comic books are traditionally released at comic shops each week. The original recording features an audio cameo of sorts by Stan Lee at the end, but that part is edited from the video version embedded above. You can hear the complete version here.
Joe Quesada: All vocals and acoustic guitar; Tommy Dean - Guitars; Mike Ferrar - Bass; Bobby Ventura - Drums and percussions; Special thanks to Stan (The Man) Lee; Engineered and mixed by Mike Ferrara; Final mix by Jerry Farley; Recorded at Fast Lane Studios, Brooklyn, NY
Lyrics:
WEDNESDAY’S CHRISTMAS AT MY COMIC SHOPPE
Words and music by Joe Quesada, 2003
Mistletoe and sugarplums
Candy canes, I don't want none
Just need my X-Men by my side.
Mother says, "Look Santa's here!"
But I know who's behind that beard
Ain’t no way Stan "The Man" can hide.
Yeah
And then he looks at me
Says, "Son, can you keep my secret please!
See, Santa called, he was feeling down.
So I took his sleigh and I'm making his rounds."
Then out of his bag there came a gift
I said, "Save it for someone who needs the lift."
‘Cause like it or not
Wednesday’s Christmas at my Comic Shoppe.
Graphic novels, trade paperbacks
Toys and statues, the comics rack
It’s enough to make this grown man sway
(I love to shop there everyday.)
Sorry, Stan, it might seem unfair
But Christmas today just doesn’t compare
When every week’s a holiday
(Isn’t Stan Jewish anyway?)
That’s why
When Wednesday comes, I don’t walk I run!
Got to get there before the frenzy’s begun
For Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Statix too
Ultimates, FF and 1602.
And though I don’t mean to brag
Compared to this, Christmas’s one big drag.
Yeah, like it or not
Wednesday’s Christmas at my Comic Shoppe.
Suffering daily from holiday blues
Leaving me wondering what’s there to do
Until the day I read those famous words from you:
"Excelsior, true believer!"
Silver Surfer, Avengers, DD
Supreme Power, Punisher, Thor and Wolvie
Iron Man and that Parker Schlub
Come on, sing along, Stan you made most of them up!
Stan’s eyes lit up as he heard the word
Said, "This Kringle stuff is for the birds!
‘Cause like it or not
Wednesday’s Christmas at my Comic Shoppe.
Nothing says "humbug" more
Than that stack of Brand Echhs piling up in the store,
And I’m feeling great and I’m feeling fine
‘Cause I’m always makin’ Marvel mine!
For the third outing, Quesada puts on an Elvis Presley impersonation and sings about the collecting of variant or alternate covers. These covers first started being published by the comic book companies in the 1980s and dominated the market in the early 1990s. For a period, the practice of slapping alternate covers on comics subsided, but over the past decade have returned and, in some ways, seem more prevalent than ever before.
Lyrics:
ALTERNATE COVER
Words and music Joe Quesada, 2004
performed and produced by Idlechatter
It’s Christmas time baby
And I sure do love you
I hope you remember
That there was only one thing I need for Christmas
Here’s a holiday story, a cautionary tale
About a night when love couldn’t prevail
The Christmas tree was lit so bright
Stacked high with gifts, it was quite a sight
With each I opened I grew so low
I held my breath there was one more to go
That’s when I left my girl standing by the tree
‘Cause when I opened that last box I didn’t receive my
Gold inlayed, leather bound, chromium, foil enhanced
Holographic, U.V. plastic, pencil sketch, photographed
One in ten, nine point nine, personally autographed, Alternate Cover
A Rolex watch, a facial buff
A nose hair trimmer, I couldn’t thank her enough
But there’s only one sign of what true love could be
It’s the one friggin’ gift that she didn’t get me, I want my
Gold inlayed, leather bound, chromium, foil enhanced
Holographic, U.V. plastic, pencil sketch, photographed
One in ten, nine point nine, personally autographed, Alternate Cover
And so it ends
I sure do miss my girlfriend
But I know that my local comic book retailer
He sure loves me!
Spot varnished, untarnished, barely been circulated
Full embossed, latex glossed, personally dedicated
Jewel encrusted, price guide trusted, completely orchestrated, Alternate Cover
Gold inlayed, leather bound, chromium, foil enhanced
Holographic, U.V. plastic, pencil sketch, photographed
One in ten, nine point nine, personally autographed, Alternate Cover
Surround sound, by the pound, highly collectable
Guaranteed, sugar free, mildly delectable
First edition, mint condition, girlfriend rejectable, Alternate Cover
Glow’n the dark, snap on parts, highly regarded
Sun roof, fire proof, media bombarded
Kevlar mesh, human flesh, completely retarded, Alternate Cover
Blood in ink, the kitchen sink, totally unreadable
Cajun spiced, overpriced, cash unretrievable
Decompressed, permanent press, the end’s unforeseeable for Alternate covers
To better understand the lyrics to this song, you must know that it alludes to the outcome of the "House of M" storyline from 2005. The result of incidents that occurred at its conclusion left many Marvel mutants without their powers. So, basically, this tune is sang from the perspective of one of those mutants wishing for their power to return for Christmas.
Joe Quesada and Idlechatter decided to do a riff on The Beatles "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" era Beatles and mashed it up with the Merry Marvel Marching Society theme from the 1960s Marvel fan club flex-discs.
Lyrics:
All I Want for Christmas
by Idlechatter, Author: Joe Quesada, 2005
You belong
You belong
You belong
Come along
With the Merry Marvel marching Society
You belong
You belong
You belong
Sing Along
With the Merry Marvel Marching Society
We're the Merry Marvel Marching Society
We're the Merry Marvel Marching Society
Woke up feeling funny today
I was startled by a white flash of light
Then I stumbled to the mirror
And that's when things got much clearer
As I was struck by a horrible sight.
Now I'm not a real trusting guy
But I must admit it's given me pause
Never believed in Easter bunnies
Or Tooth Faeries and their money
But I'm praying there's a real Santa Claus
'cause all I want for Christmas
All I'll ever need
All I want for Christmas
Come on, give it on back, give it on back
Give my mutant power back to me.
Jubilation has lost all her spark
(Fred has lost his center of gravity)
Erik's not magnetic
(Pietro's turned pathetic)
And Jono has no chest cavity
Now all I want for Christmas
All I'll ever need
All I want for Christmas
Come on, give it on back, give it on back
Give my mutant power back to me.
(He's always checking who's done right or wrong)
I'm a bit concerned about the review
(Have you been a good boy all year long)
I might have done an evil deed or two
(So how'd you do on Christmas day)
Well I have to say I'm feeling quite blue
(Come on, tell us we're a quiver)
Well, Santa didn't deliver
Seems the reindeers are mutants too
Now all I want for Christmas
All I'll ever need
All I want for Christmas
Come on, give it on back, give it on back
Give my mutant power back to me.
Official Press Release Jan 09, 2007:
"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Marvel! Don't check your calendar. Don't think some wild, Dr. Doom-engineered time vortex has opened up and Christmas has returned. Nothing is out of the ordinary.
"It's just that Joe Quesada (along with his band Idlechatter) has released the annual Marvel Christmas song. And yes, as the song's title states, "This Song is Two Weeks Late." Like I was saying, nothing out of the ordinary here.
"It was a massive undertaking that saw late nights, frantic edits and some of the most ridiculous rapping in music history, but it's here! We should have a snazzy video to go along with the song here on Marvel.com, but for now enjoy the song."
As far as I know, there never was an official Marvel video for the song. The one embedded in this blog is one I made for it.
This would be the last Christmas song by Idlechatter for Marvel, though Quesada said in an interview with CBR.com that he had actually written one more song for Christmas 2007:
(Joe Quesada, January 04, 2008) "...I actually had one written and I was prepared to record it. Unfortunately, I was so exhausted after OMD ("One More Day") and had spent so little time with my family during that time, that I just couldn't do it and live with myself. Those Christmas recordings take several days and incredibly long hours; I had to be smart about it."
Vocals/Guitar/Keyboards: Joe Quesada; Lead Guitar: Tommy Dean; Drums: Andy Guida; Bass: Mike Ferrara; Engineered and mastered by Mike Ferrara at Mach 1 Studios, Brooklyn, New York.
Marvel Rappers (and we use the term loosely) in order of appearance:
John Dokes, Tom Brevoort, Mark Paniccia, Nick Lowe, Jen Grunwald, Daniel Ketchum, Molly Lazer, Mike Short, Andy Schmidt, John Barber, Ralph Macchio (in spirit), Axel Alonso, Steve Wacker, and Aubrey Sitterson
Lyrics:
THIS SONG IS 2 WEEKS LATE
Words and Music Joe Quesada, 2007
and The Merry Marvel Marching Society
I've been trying to find the words to express my remorse
'cause I work here at Marvel, so it's par for the course
This song is two weeks late for Christmas.
It's been a busy year, so many books to produce
Aw, who am I kidding, it's a lame excuse
This song is two weeks late for Christmas.
Maybe I should'a had my "stuff" together
Maybe I should'a read all those angry letters?
Maybe I should'a have listened to the internetters?
'cause let's face it, who on earth could possibly know any better
I could've had it done but somehow let it linger
I should've thought of using "fill in" singer
This songs is two weeks late for Christmas
Would ya believe my dog ate my notes?
Would ya believe that I've got strep throat?
Would you believe anything I wrote?
'cause you no I'm so shameless when I try to promote
Yeah, let's take 'em back- Uh huh
House of Ideas 2 Thousand Seven
Yeah, This to Stan, Jack, Steve, and Flo
SCREAM FOOM!!!
OH T-VOORT YOU LOOK WEIRD, WHAT THE HELL'S INSIDE THAT BEARD
Civil War's runnin' late, yeah, don't gimme no lip
'Cause you're backed up in line when that bad boy done ships
I don't wanna be hearin' how your heroes been wrecked
Show Mark Miller and Mista McNiven RESPECT!
GO ROSE!
Yeah, fanboyz, don't be up in my grill or illin',
I'll throw lead in yo *** if you call Tony Stark a villain!
Just wave yo hands in the air,
I spit rhymes like Aubrey grows hair!
They call me Panic but I'm California mellow
Can I interest you in some MASTERMIND EXCELLO
I edit Hulk and Modok's big head
And Agents of Atlas, the best book you NEVER READ
So I was sittin' 'round with Andy and Sean, TESTIFY!
I called my Runaways boy Brian Vaughan, LOWE-FI!
I know you're leavin' for LOST and I'll try not to sulk,
So get ya' boy Lindelof to finish WOLVERINE/HULK
I WORK AT MARVEL, I WORK AT MARVEL, I WORK AT MARVEL FANBOY
My name is Daniel Ketchum and I edit BLACK PANTHER,
Wanna know 'bout Wakanda, well baby I got your answers.
Molly is my name, but you can call me "Beam."
Playing here on Marvel's edit team
Wireless Mike with respect for Special Projects
I'm Andy Schmidt, all those books you love, yeah I Ed-it
Hey I'm the Barber, Johnny, everybody say "YO!"
Let's get this party kickin' with Ralph Macchio
Axe-Man is in the house.
You know I'm a genius. A poet. A menace.
Got straighter teeth than Brubaker, and tons more hair than Bendis.
Continuity? CLICK-BOOM! I slay it in an instant.
You want an apology? Go speak to my assistant.
So tell me, True Believer. What really makes me wack?
Was it making Rawhide Kid gay? Or Captain America black? OH SNAP
I got hit on the head, that's the last I remember
THIS BOY IS WACKER-ER!
Woke up at Marvel, 'round the end of September
I'm a mad edit bomb. Blow up the drawing and WRITIN'.
Then I chew up Thunder and I spit out THOR'S LIGHTININ!
I'm the new Spidey-Man… so if you liked it BACK THEN.
In month number one: GOODBYE M.J AND HELLO ***
Nobody can touch our books, their cast reads like a list
Of the world's greatest heroes! It sounds like this: TELL 'EM!
Cap the Falcon, Iron Man, Sentry, Luke Cage, DAMN YOU'RE GOOD!
Fantastic Four and T-Bolts are jumping off the page.
DON'T GO THERE, AUBREY
Dr. Strange, She-Hulk and Ant-Man (new and old).
DON'T GO THERE, AUBREY
And our Distinguished Competition?
Who the *BLEEP* is Booster Gold?
HE WENT THERE!
I work at Marvel
YEAH OUR BOOKS ARE SICK!
I work at Marvel
THE ADS MAKE THEM THICK!
I work at Marvel
SO WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY!
I work at Marvel Fanboy
HAPPY BELATED HOLIDAYS
Maybe I should'a had my "stuff" together
Maybe I should'a read all those angry letters?
Maybe I should'a have listened to the internetters?
If only I could find a way to make Hawkeye deader
I guess I should've planned it way ahead
But if I did you'd be listening to Bendis instead
This song is two weeks late for Christmas
This song is two weeks late for Christmas
Sorry to make you wait
This Christmas
So, if you ever heard Millar sing a tune
You'd understand why he doesn't give up writing soon
And while Cassaday may be pop star dreamy
I'd still have to sing it 'cause he'd lip-syncing
Now JMS croons like a nightingale
And Loeb has a voice best heard in e-mail
When Salva sings you wouldn't understand a word
Jenkins has the fakest accent you've ever heard
But the one thing that makes everybody grin
Is when Stan "The Man" played us like a violin
Since the days of Joe Quesada's tenure as Marvel's Editor-In-Chief, he has went on to become the executive vice president and creative director for Marvel Entertainment. These days he appears to have little time to devote to the seasonal Christmas songs, and in the intervening years, nobody else at the company has risen to take his place in that capacity. So, these five songs remain an interesting and entertaining artifact from a bygone era of Marvel Comics.
Thankfully, I was able to save and share the songs, lyrics, and what information was made available about the recordings. Over the years, it's become harder to do that, as many of the sites where the songs were first uploaded and shared have taken down the associated pages, or some sites have become defunct.
So, enjoy and have a HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!!!
